Working Mums vs Stay At Home Mums - The Amazing Truth

Working Mums vs Stay At Home Mums : The Amazing Truth

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Working Mums vs Stay At Home Mums : The Amazing Truth

The Working Mums vs Stay At Home Mums debate has been around since time began, it’s true it is a hot topic and is a debate that rages on between those mums who do work and those mums who stay at home. It’s been going on for years and I don’t think it will ever stop.

Before my baby was even born I’d have people asking me if I was going back to work afterwards.

Truth is being a Stay At Home Mum is tough and being a Working Mum is tough. One is not harder than the other, one is not right and one is not wrong. Both options are perfectly fine – It’s your choice.

Working Mums VS Stat At Home Mums - The Amazing Truth

Working Mums Vs Stay At Home Mums

Working Mums vs Stay At Home Mums

The Pros and Cons Of Being A Working Mum

Pros Of Being A Working Mum

  • You are a great mum
  • You earn your own money
  • Teach your children the importance of working
  • Maintain your own sense of identity through your achievements at work
  • You get to have an adult conversation
  • Value quality time you spend with your children
  • Your child is having fun & building relationships with others
  • You get to go to the toilet in peace a few times a day
  • You get to drink your coffee whilst its still hot a few times a day

Cons Of Being A Working Mum

  • You miss your children – alot
  • Tiredness from rushing around and getting everyone where they need to be
  • Feeling like you have two jobs
  • Mum guilt when you miss out on parents evenings, plays etc.

The Pros and Cons Of Being A Stay At Home Mum

Pros Of Being A Stay At Home Mum

  • You are a great mum
  • You’re getting to spend a lot of time with your child
  • You don’t have to split your time between two things.
  • You get to see all the firsts
  • No expensive child care

Cons Of Being A Stay At Home Mom

  • Lack Of Adult Conversation
  • It can be lonely when your children are young
  • Can cause lack of identity
  • Can cause financial strain
  • Your children can lack socialisation with other children

The Dream
Moms would all support each other which ever option they choose. Being a mom is hard job and none of us want or need to feel judged for the decision we make about children. We all do what is best for our family, we all want what’s best for our family. So weather you’re a Stay At Home Mom or Working Mom I salute you! You’re Doing Great!

The Reality
Moms do feel judged for the decision we make. Those who stay at home are ‘sponging off the state’ and ‘lazy”. The moms who work are ‘more interested in money’ ‘don’t care about their child’ or ‘aren’t naturally maternal anyway’.

On more than one occasion I have felt judged for my decision to have a full-time 9-5 job, whilst my little one attends nursery. He has done since he was 8 months old. We all suffer enough ‘mum guilt’ of our own without others adding more doubt and feelings of guilt upon you.

For Those Mums Who Work Full Time – I’d Like You To Know:

  1. Just because you work it doesn’t mean you’re not maternal
  2. Because you work it doesn’t mean you don’t love your child
  3. Just because you leave them, it doesn’t mean they’ll stop loving you or forget you – you’ll always be Β their mom.

Don’t be so hard on yourselves – this being a mommy job is tough. Let’s all show some love and understanding for each other instead of trying to decide who is right and who is wrong in the Stay At Home Mom vs Working Mom debate – there is no right or wrong answer – only what’s best for you and your family.

Mummy Its OK – You’re Doing Great!


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44 thoughts on “Working Mums vs Stay At Home Mums : The Amazing Truth

  • Anna Brophy

    Absolutely! I am a SAHM, desperately craving the stimulation of work, but desperately terrified to juggle everything. I salute the working Mum’s; incredible…but also desperately jealous of your lunch break (where you probably stuff food down at your desk, anyway)…we are all amazing! #bestandworst

    • mummyitsok

      I do miss my little one, but I love been able to finish a cup of tea whilst it’s hot, going to the loo in peace and quiet & not having him steal my lunch whilst a work hahaha! If I stopped with him 24/7 I think he’d drive me mad as much as I love him! It’s hard working full time & being a mum but I’ve learnt to lessen my expectations with the house work lol! We all do an amazing job πŸ™‚

  • mackenzieglanville

    we are all great mums as long as we do the best we can whatever the situation. It would be nice if we supported each other more wouldn’t it? Great post #bestandworst

  • sisterk1n

    I would like to hope that us mums do support each other, but you are right there is too much judgement out there – often by people who have no idea of how hard it is to be either a working mum or a stay at home mum. #bestandworst

    • mummyitsok

      I found people were very judgmental when I went back to work and sent my LO to nursery from 8.30-5pm mon-fri. You’d think I’d said I was leaving the LO outside in the winter weather all day! He loves his nursery, nearly been there 2 years now he gets upset if he doesn’t go! X

  • helen gandy

    Ahh that is lovely and I agree you are damned if you do and damned if you don’t these days, us women can’t win whatever we do! I am heading back to work part time soon and I always suffer with the guilt of doing so but then I have my career and want my own money! Thanks so much for linking up to the #bestandworst hope to see you again πŸ™‚ x

  • beth

    It is a shame that most mums get judged. I would never judge a Mum for being a stay at home mum and I would never judge a mum for working part or full time either. No one knows their situation so no one should judge. Great post. x

  • The Speed Bump

    Absolutely! I went straight back to uni after having SB – I was told I was abandoning my daughter at the same time as sponging off the state. I then went straight into full time work – I was called neglectful for not spending time with my daughter. I became a SAHM – I’m sponging off the state. Mums can’t win! Great post x #fartglitter

  • Kayla

    Love this! I always try to keep in mind that every family has a unique set of circumstances so it’s best to never judge, especially without knowing all the details. You have to do what’s best for your family, whatever that is. #fartglitter

  • rhymingwithwine

    I totally agree with you! We are each just doing what works for us and we’re all doing the best that we can. Working mums / part time working mums / stay at home mums….We’re all working so much more than full time in our own way anyway. I salute you all!

    #justanotherlinky x

  • Jodie Allen (@beautybabyblog)

    This is one of those topics that winds me up every time! I am a stay at home mum and my little girl is 10 months old. I am constantly being asked when I am going back to work and why I’m not already back to work etc. a) it’s my own choice to make and b) we are not all sponging off anyone, we don’t claim a penny. I am lucky enough that my husbands wage allows me to have the choice to stay at home. But on the flip side, I don’t see why working mums should get put down either! You are out earning a living and supporting your family which is something to be applauded! I think it’s everyones own choice to make. Either way it doesn’t make any less of a mum! #justanotherlinky
    p.s/ sorry for the rant!

    • mummyitsok

      Absolutely! If you stay at home you get asked when you’re going back to work, if you work you get asked why you’re not stopping at home! You can’t win! We all do what’s best for our family & that’s all that should matter. πŸ™‚ X

  • toughcookie11

    I’m a full time working mum and my little boy loves nursery so much!! I am so glad I went back as I just cannot give him the stimulation he needs anymore on a daily basis. I think both working and SAHMs do an amazing job! #justanotherlinky

    • mummyitsok

      Agreed! We all do a wonderful job. We both work full time and our little man loves nursery to! He loves to see his friends. It nice to know even though I’m not having a great time looking at my excel spreadsheets he’s having a fab time playing hehehe! X

  • Rebecca @ AAUBlog

    Thanks for sharing. It is tricky to get the balance right. I work from home a few hours each day, so not the same as a full time working mum, but do feel that I miss out on all the ‘playing’ #justanotherlinky

  • debsrandomwritings

    It’s sad that we still live in a world where Mums feel the need to justify their actions. Being a Mun is never easy, so we don’t need the added pressure of feeling judged, when all we are trying to do is our best.

    I thought trying to reach out to all Mums in your post was lovely.


    • mummyitsok

      Thank you! There’s so much pressure around – stay at home, go to work, breastfeed, bottle fed etc etc & so much judging of each other’s decisions. All are the right decision for you and your baby & no-one should feel judged and inadequate for doing what’s best for their family x love to all mums our there! It’s a hard job x

  • Twopicklesmama

    I am a working mum and do quite resent it but it is necessary – at the moment my partner stays at home but soon we will be getting into nursery, and then school, and my partner will return gratefully to a working life… but I can’t imagine how we will get around all the itty bits of extortionate wraparound childcare…. #fartglitter

  • tammymum

    That’s such a good post and so accurate. I’m trying to decide what to do re returning to work and it feels as though you can’t do right for doing wrong and whatever you choose someone somewhere will judge for it. But it’s not about them it about yourself and what’s right for you and your family – we all do what’s best for us just need a little reminding every now and then. #abitofeverything

  • traceyb1981

    Damned if you do damned if you don’t! Kind of how being a mum feels at times I think. Sometimes it’s nice to know you are not being judged #abitofeverything

  • Agent Spitback

    Thank you for writing this. I work full time and have oversized Mummy Guilt and was having one of those moments when I read your post. I felt so much better after reading this. I couldn’t agree more with you but sometimes you need someone else to tell you it’s OK. Thanks for sharing with #abitofeverything

  • nikkifrankhamilton

    This is so true, we need to support each other, no matter what. Being a parent is a hard thing. You always question what you do, and it’s even worse when others question or judge your decisions. We are all here, on Earth, to do the best we can, it’s far easier to do better when you aren’t being judged for every little thing! We all love our kids and know them best, so we do our best! And try to pass it on!

  • Annette

    Thank you for this. Stay at home vs back to work is one of those tricky ones where, no matter which you do, someone will think it’s the wrong decision. I agree that it has to be what’s right for your family. X

  • acornishmum

    This is so true, I can honestly say I don;t judge others especially not for whether they work or not, but I know a lot do and it’s sad really. I have pretty much always stayed at home with my boys, but mostly due to the cost of childcare meaning working wasn’t really an option financially as we would have been worse off!

    Thanks for linking up to #PicknMix πŸ™‚

    Stevie x

  • monikalifebreu

    I do enjoy working but also have this mum guilt constantly when I see my SAHM friends as they get to spend so much more time with their kids. However, I know I am not made to be home 100% of the time so found somehow a compromise. Still some people looking from the outside give me a look when they find out I pay for two lots of nursery, which equates to a very generous mortgage payments. But without me working we would be living from hand to mouth. Also, my boys get stimulation they would not otherwise get when at home with me all the time and they get to develop their social skills without me constantly next to them.

  • Kara

    This is so accurate! I recently had to make this decision, and it’s good to know I am not the only one stressing about these things πŸ™‚ How do you bring in more adult interaction without driving your husband insane?