Mum Guilt – Don’t Worry You’re Doing Great!


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Mum Guilt – Don’t Worry You’re Doing Great!

Mum Guilt – Its true that as a new mum you feel under a lot of pressure to have it all. The perfect house, figure, and baby etc. I’m sure many of you will agree this is totally unrealistic. My house isn’t arranged beautifully like a show-home. It does not have pristine white furniture and carpets, or vases full of flowers and delicate little crystal figurines on the fireplace. Far from it, my living room currently looks like I’ve started my own pre-school – toys toys and more toys.

Am I bothered by the mess? Honestly? Yes slightly, it does annoy me but I’ve had to lower my expectations of ‘tidy’ with a toddler running around! If someone wants to come in to my home and judge my parenting ability on fact that my front room looks like a soft play area inhabited by toddlers 24/7 then go ahead. The mess shows he’s having a great time, not that I can’t cope with cleaning, a full time job and a kid.

Mum Guilt - Don't Worry You're Doing Great

I keep seeing images on social media and the news of celebrities who have ‘snapped’ back into shape after giving birth. I’m sure for a lucky few this does happen (not me!). Although the one I read about recently was a model – who, 2 weeks after the birth of her child was spending 2 hours a day hiking through mountains, with her billionaire husband to get back into shape. Personally I’d rather sit at home bonding with my newborn. She’d had a c-section to, so god only knows how she managed the hiking. I could just about pick up the pram over the front door step a few weeks after mine!

For the majority of us, your body seems to want to hang on to the extra weight. Also good luck getting back that flat stomach. I have accepted I’ll always have my mummy pouch. Why? The little time I’m away from my full-time job I want to be with my little one not in the gym. This isn’t a criticism of mums who go to the gym – I’m not really a fan of exercise. I’d much rather just drink coffee and have a wedge of chocolate cake. Ahh found out the reason for my little to none weight loss! I’ll just have to keep dancing along to ‘The Wiggles’ (it’s a kids TV show) with the little man in the hope of burning a few calories!

Ah my favourite part – the perfect baby. I always give a smug smile when I see parents going on about how perfect their child is on social media – give it up, you’re not fooling anyone. All kids no matter how perfect and adorable will at some point be a right little sod and drive you to the edge of your sanity – fact! Why? Because that’s what kids do, test the boundaries with their parents. Yes my 2 1/2 year old is amazing. However, sometimes when he’s having a meltdown because I cut his sandwiches up wrong – I think dear lord help me (or words to that effect!).

So I’ve rambled on about Mum Guilt. Whats my point? My point is, don’t feel guilty or worry about the things that don’t matter. Your little ones won’t hold it against you for a bit of a messy house or a mummy pouch. They won’t hold it against you if you working mum or a stay-at-home mum. They won’t hold it against you for breastfeeding or formula feeding them. Why? Because you are their mum, and the simple fact is they love you for being their mum.

 

Mum Guilt - Don't Worry You're Doing Great
Mum Guilt

Mummy It’s OK – You’re Doing Great!

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44 thoughts on “Mum Guilt – Don’t Worry You’re Doing Great!

  • Debbie

    Being a Mum is the most important job we’ll ever do. Being there for your children when they need you (and sometimes when they don’t think they do, is far more important than worrying about whether the cushions are straight or the carpet is in need of a vacuum.

    Realistically it took nine months to get a baby body, so new Mums should allow themselves nine months to get back into shape again and yes, it will be a slightly different shape.

    My two are nineteen and sixteen and my house still looks like a tip most of the time, life is just too short and precious to lose sleep over untidiness.

    xx

    • mummyitsok Post author

      Aw thanks Debbie – yeah I guess my house will always be a mess but at least he’s having fun! I’ll have plenty of time to vacuum when I’m older lol xx

  • karen

    I completely agree, there is too much pressure on Mums to be perfect. (watch me try!) I worry constantly that I don’t do enough, as I watch my baby roll into the fire place… I keep the house maintained enough that we can function but that will do. We all deserve pats on the backs whatever we do. Lovely heart post x

  • Sarah and Louise

    I have mum guilt everyday, all the time, about all different things. It’s exhausting! I think we put too much pressure on ourselves to do everything perfectly, then beat ourselves up when we find that it’s impossible! Thanks for reminding me that I’m doing OK! x Louise #brillblogposts

  • Jakijellz

    I have Mum guilt most days. Any Mum that says they don’t are lying. At least we know we are normal 🙂 We just have to keep doing the best we can – that’s all we can do. #BloggerClubUK

  • Cheryl @ Tea or Wine

    I think most mums seem to suffer with some form of mum guilt whether it be about work, staying at home, how they deal with behaviour, mess etc. etc. I don’t know why it is that we all feel so guilty! You’re so right, we are all trying our best and our little ones love us for being their mum. #BloggerClubUK x

  • skirtssnailsandsupermomtales

    I feel the same way about exercise. My almost-two-year-old walk everywhere we can to try to stay active. Most of the time he’s great at it. Sometimes I end up carrying him, but then I’m just working on my arm muscles right? 😀
    #twinklytuesday

  • teacuptoria

    I always think that if you’re trying your best, there is absolutely nothing to feel guilty about. I have always made time for my son. I do go the gym now in my lunchtimes….just so I can eat lots of cake! Tor xx #bestandworst

    • mummyitsok Post author

      Haha brill! I’m hoping that running around after him is exercise enough! Definitely – as long as you do your best then that’s good enough 🙂

  • Sarah Howe (@RunJumpScrap)

    I actually love my new house as my daughter plays in her bedroom so much with me so my lounge is so tidy!!! this will change when the baby comes…hello Jumparoo! Great post – we should all be just enjoying our kids and worrying not. That Mum guilt is pretty evil!! Thanks for sharing with #bestandworst x

    • mummyitsok Post author

      It’s so easy to get lost in the mum guilt. But a long as they are happy and well looked after the rest can wait! Thanks for reading and commenting!

  • bridiebythesea

    This is so true – we put so much pressure on ourselves to be the perfect parent with the perfect child and an amazing home. It’s so good to remind ourselves that we’re all doing great and the rest will follow I’m sure 🙂 Fab post xx #bestandworst

  • The UnNatural Mother

    My house resembles the aftermath of a student party ( which I am never invited to ) . I’m not sure why but there seems to be millions of socks all over the place and plates and old juice cups laying around. I can handle the toys but could someone please have a word with my husband !! #Fortheloveofblog

  • thefrenchiemummy

    I gave up with the state of my house a long time ago… Well I was already quite messy before Baba arrived anyway. A perfect body? I am happy when I can exercise a bit. Those stars have nothing else to do but get a personal trainer and get into shape. It’s not reality… Fab post!
    #FartGlitter

  • rhian226

    I figure they are only little for a while. I’ll have a tidy (and probably boring) house when she goes to university! #fartglitter

  • Squirmy Popple

    Down with mum guilt! Just this weekend I was getting down on myself for the state of my flat, but then I told myself that it’s more important to spend what little free time I have doing things I love (like blogging) rather than cleaning the toilet. We all need to be a little kinder to ourselves. #fartglitter

  • min1980

    I’m fairly sure that in most cases there is a lot of smoke and mirrors involved with these celebs snapping back into shape. Three weeks after my son was born I was euphoric after managing to squeeze myself back into an extra-small bodycon dress from American Apparel. I then went for a walk and came a cropper when the dress started chafing and my C-section scar started bleeding, leaving me in a massive panic! Lesson learned. I can only imagine what was going on behind the magazine pics of the hiking model! And as for cleaning, who wants to do that when we could be doing something fun? Babies and kids don’t care about the mess! #bigpinklink

  • No Manual to Mummy

    Excellent, uplifting, empowering post. Not going to lie I was one of those mums who boast about the perfect nights sleep my baby gave me, up until 18 months. Then sleep regression hit. Now karma has bit me on the bottom. It did make me giggle. Going to bed with a smile tonight #bigpinklink

  • Agent Spitback

    This is so true…Let’s shoo away Mom guilt and know that we are all trying to be the best parent for our babies, regardless of our bodies, homes or the babies. I have long given up reaching the elusive Perfect benchmark, I would much rather have some sanity left. Thanks for sharing with #bigpinklink

  • An Imperfect Mum (@animperfectmum)

    We rae faced with so many unrealistic images. I totally agree with you about letting go of the things that don’t matter. I let go of the guilt a long time ago, hence the blog name. I embrace my imperfections as I know I am doing the best I can for my boys. Thank you for sharing this fab post with us at #EatSleepBlogRT

  • Chilli Regina

    I am wondering, why do we even feel guilt? We are doing the hardest job ever, it’s a job for a life-time, and it’s not really a job, it the way of life. We put ourselves aside and put our family first, our kids first. We love and give and learn and with that comes the ups and downs, the failure and success. No guilt necessary! 🙂