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Mum Guilt – Don’t Worry You’re Doing Great!
Mum Guilt – Its true that as a new mum you feel under a lot of pressure to have it all. The perfect house, figure, and baby etc. I’m sure many of you will agree this is totally unrealistic. My house isn’t arranged beautifully like a show-home. It does not have pristine white furniture and carpets, or vases full of flowers and delicate little crystal figurines on the fireplace. Far from it, my living room currently looks like I’ve started my own pre-school – toys toys and more toys.
Am I bothered by the mess? Honestly? Yes slightly, it does annoy me but I’ve had to lower my expectations of ‘tidy’ with a toddler running around! If someone wants to come in to my home and judge my parenting ability on fact that my front room looks like a soft play area inhabited by toddlers 24/7 then go ahead. The mess shows he’s having a great time, not that I can’t cope with cleaning, a full time job and a kid.
I keep seeing images on social media and the news of celebrities who have ‘snapped’ back into shape after giving birth. I’m sure for a lucky few this does happen (not me!). Although the one I read about recently was a model – who, 2 weeks after the birth of her child was spending 2 hours a day hiking through mountains, with her billionaire husband to get back into shape. Personally I’d rather sit at home bonding with my newborn. She’d had a c-section to, so god only knows how she managed the hiking. I could just about pick up the pram over the front door step a few weeks after mine!
For the majority of us, your body seems to want to hang on to the extra weight. Also good luck getting back that flat stomach. I have accepted I’ll always have my mummy pouch. Why? The little time I’m away from my full-time job I want to be with my little one not in the gym. This isn’t a criticism of mums who go to the gym – I’m not really a fan of exercise. I’d much rather just drink coffee and have a wedge of chocolate cake. Ahh found out the reason for my little to none weight loss! I’ll just have to keep dancing along to ‘The Wiggles’ (it’s a kids TV show) with the little man in the hope of burning a few calories!
Ah my favourite part – the perfect baby. I always give a smug smile when I see parents going on about how perfect their child is on social media – give it up, you’re not fooling anyone. All kids no matter how perfect and adorable will at some point be a right little sod and drive you to the edge of your sanity – fact! Why? Because that’s what kids do, test the boundaries with their parents. Yes my 2 1/2 year old is amazing. However, sometimes when he’s having a meltdown because I cut his sandwiches up wrong – I think dear lord help me (or words to that effect!).
So I’ve rambled on about Mum Guilt. Whats my point? My point is, don’t feel guilty or worry about the things that don’t matter. Your little ones won’t hold it against you for a bit of a messy house or a mummy pouch. They won’t hold it against you if you working mum or a stay-at-home mum. They won’t hold it against you for breastfeeding or formula feeding them. Why? Because you are their mum, and the simple fact is they love you for being their mum.
Mummy It’s OK – You’re Doing Great!