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How To Stop Your Kid Whining All The Time
How many of us here have kids that whine? I’m betting pretty much all of us do! ‘Kid Whining’, Oh, I hate whining! It grates on my nerves, big time!! And my 3-year-old? He’s a pro at it! My 4-year-old is a close second.
While I would love to eliminate ‘kid whining’ completely… let’s be realistic here. A child will whine. Just like we will complain. You just simply can’t get a child to never whine, that would be like us adults to never complain, and if we are going to be honest… we have something to complain about every day. That being said, there are some tricks and tips to use to get LESS whining!!
How It Is At Our House:
“MOM, MOM!” “I want juice, I want to go to Grandma’s house”. “I want Daddy to come home”. All said in that high pitched whiny voice!! I want, I want, I want. This is all I hear all day long. Believe me; I can get pretty grumpy by the time my husband comes home if its a bad day for this.
It’s one thing I just can’t handle. I honestly think I’d take the tantrums over the ‘kid whining’. I would get mad at them, yell at them, basically all kinds of negative response. In my head I knew all of this didn’t help, if anything it just made matters worse… but it was a natural instinct.
Finally, I woke up… I realized if I wanted the ‘kid whining’ to stop then I would have to put a stop to it. Change the way I reacted to it because the way I was sure wasn’t helping!
Here’s What I Did:
Every time they said, “Mom I want juice.” In that annoying high pitched voice? I would say “I don’t know what you are saying when you whine, you need to ask nicely- “Mom, may I please have some juice.” If they would ask nicely- I would react right away and give them juice.
You can apply this to anything that they are whining about! If they are whining that they are tired instead of; “MOM… I’m tired”. You can remind them, even if the words themselves don’t need changing, remind them to talk in a regular voice. I will tell my boys- “That’s not the way we talk, we don’t whine, we talk with nice words.” I would repeat “Mom, I’m tired.” Yes, the words are the same, but I would say them with the pauses where they need to be, and with a regular voice.
Once they would repeat me, without whining(sometimes we have to do this 2-3 times before it works). I would respond and say “Well why don’t you get some books and read on the couch? ” or ” Go find a blanket and lay on the couch with some pillows for a while and then you’ll feel better.” 90% of the time, I would get a positive response…. they would get books or a blanket. Since the whining was already stopped they would feel better since mom is helping them.
When we are eating lunch; I use the same approach. Let me remind you of some things here for a minute before we continue. I have four children, ages 4 and under. Mealtimes are a little nuts to say the least.
Lunch times I keep simple. We eat bread. All the options that we have for sandwiches go on the table, and I make them their sandwiches as they eat them. So often I have 4 kids whining that they want their food, while I can only make one at a time. Needless to say this time of day is getting better, as they are getting older, they are getting more independent. My 4-year-old will butter his own and put almost anything on there himself, he just needs help with the cutting.
While it’s getting better, there is still lots of room for improvement! This is where staying on top of the whining helps A LOT! Instead of my 3-year-old whining that he wants PB or ham.. or whatever it is he wants that day. He needs to ask nicely- “Mom, may I please have ham?” I will say “Yes, I’ll make you one as soon as I am done making your sisters.” MOST of the time he will wait until I’m ready. It is a huge improvement to when he would whine about having PB to me getting angry at him for whining. It would be a vicious cycle that would end up with him throwing a tantrum.
Why Does It Work?
This way they began to understand that whining didn’t get them what they want. Only when they would act like they knew they were supposed to, without whining and crying did Mom respond to them.
Slowly, but surely we began to see the difference! Please don’t expect dramatic results overnight! I have been doing this for 3-4 months now, and while there have been vast improvements, we still have whining! One thing I need to stress is that every child is different!!! My 4-year-old is getting this down pat pretty well… my 3-year-old? Well, he’s a different story; yes it has helped a lot, but he also needs a lot of reminding. It’s something that we work on constantly.
This has to become routine. Not something that you only remember to do when you have patience!! (Read my post here on how I get more patience with my kids!)
Keep in mind… there will never be a child that doesn’t whine. They are still kids! But as long as we can get them to whine less often then we are doing a good thing!
How do you stop your child’s whining?? We would love to hear your tips so that we can try them too!
I am so excited to be here! I’m a mom of 4 kids (my oldest is 4 1/2 and my baby just turned a year!) I know how hard mama life can be so I blog to help other moms! I blog about parenting,cloth diapers,and recipes! Read More About Me Here!