Working Mums vs Stay At Home Mums : The Amazing Truth

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Working Mums vs Stay At Home Mums : The Amazing Truth

The Working Mums vs Stay At Home Mums debate has been around since time began, it’s true it is a hot topic and is a debate that rages on between those mums who do work and those mums who stay at home. It’s been going on for years and I don’t think it will ever stop.

Before my baby was even born I’d have people asking me if I was going back to work afterwards.

Truth is being a Stay At Home Mum is tough and being a Working Mum is tough. One is not harder than the other, one is not right and one is not wrong. Both options are perfectly fine – It’s your choice.

Working mums vs stay at home mums, working mum guilt, working mum full time, working mum tips, working mum schedule, stay at home mum routine, stay at home mum schedule, stay at home tips, stay at home mums survival


Working mums vs stay at home mums, working mum guilt, working mum full time, working mum tips, working mum schedule, stay at home mum routine, stay at home mum schedule, stay at home tips, stay at home mums survival

Working Mums vs Stay At Home Mums

The Pros and Cons Of Being A Working Mum

Pros Of Being A Working Mum

  • You are a great mum
  • You earn your own money
  • Teach your children the importance of working
  • Maintain your own sense of identity through your achievements at work
  • You get to have an adult conversation
  • Value quality time you spend with your children
  • Your child is having fun & building relationships with others
  • You get to go to the toilet in peace a few times a day
  • You get to drink your coffee whilst its still hot a few times a day

Cons Of Being A Working Mum

  • You miss your children – a lot
  • Tiredness from rushing around and getting everyone where they need to be
  • Feeling like you have two jobs
  • Mum guilt when you miss out on parents evenings, plays etc.

The Pros and Cons Of Being A Stay At Home Mum

Pros Of Being A Stay At Home Mum

  • You are a great mum
  • You’re getting to spend a lot of time with your child
  • You don’t have to split your time between two things.
  • You get to see all the firsts
  • No expensive child care

Cons Of Being A Stay At Home Mom

  • Lack Of Adult Conversation
  • It can be lonely when your children are young
  • Can cause lack of identity
  • Can cause financial strain
  • Your children can lack socialisation with other children

The Dream
Mums would all support each other which ever option they choose. Being a mum is hard job and none of us want or need to feel judged for the decision we make about children. We all do what is best for our family, we all want what’s best for our family. So weather you’re a Stay At Home Mum or Working Mum I salute you! You’re Doing Great!

The Reality
Mums do feel judged for the decision we make. Those who stay at home are ‘sponging off the state’ and ‘lazy”. The mums who work are ‘more interested in money’ ‘don’t care about their child’ or ‘aren’t naturally maternal anyway’.

On more than one occasion I have felt judged for my decision to have a full-time 9-5 job, whilst my little one attends nursery. He has done since he was 8 months old. We all suffer enough ‘mum guilt’ of our own without others adding more doubt and feelings of guilt upon you.

For Those Mums Who Work Full Time – I’d Like You To Know:

  1. Just because you work it doesn’t mean you’re not maternal
  2. Because you work it doesn’t mean you don’t love your child
  3. Just because you leave them, it doesn’t mean they’ll stop loving you or forget you – you’ll always be  their mum.

Don’t be so hard on yourselves – this being a mommy job is tough. Let’s all show some love and understanding for each other instead of trying to decide who is right and who is wrong in the Stay At Home Mum vs Working Mum debate – there is no right or wrong answer – only what’s best for you and your family.


Hi! I’m Julie. I write about all things related to mum life. I’m also a postpartum depression survivor. I love helping mum start their mum blog journey and I have step-by-step guides to help!

***the links in this article may be affiliate links. If you purchase something I will receive a small commission from the seller at no extra cost to you***


  1. November 25, 2015 / 7:14 am

    Absolutely! I am a SAHM, desperately craving the stimulation of work, but desperately terrified to juggle everything. I salute the working Mum’s; incredible…but also desperately jealous of your lunch break (where you probably stuff food down at your desk, anyway)…we are all amazing! #bestandworst

    • November 25, 2015 / 7:46 am

      I do miss my little one, but I love been able to finish a cup of tea whilst it’s hot, going to the loo in peace and quiet & not having him steal my lunch whilst a work hahaha! If I stopped with him 24/7 I think he’d drive me mad as much as I love him! It’s hard working full time & being a mum but I’ve learnt to lessen my expectations with the house work lol! We all do an amazing job 🙂

  2. mackenzieglanville
    November 25, 2015 / 7:21 am

    we are all great mums as long as we do the best we can whatever the situation. It would be nice if we supported each other more wouldn’t it? Great post #bestandworst

    • November 25, 2015 / 7:48 am

      I would love for all mums to support each other! What ever we do its a tough job & the judging and negative comments can really impact on somebody. We’re all fab!

  3. November 25, 2015 / 10:37 am

    I would like to hope that us mums do support each other, but you are right there is too much judgement out there – often by people who have no idea of how hard it is to be either a working mum or a stay at home mum. #bestandworst

    • November 25, 2015 / 12:51 pm

      I found people were very judgmental when I went back to work and sent my LO to nursery from 8.30-5pm mon-fri. You’d think I’d said I was leaving the LO outside in the winter weather all day! He loves his nursery, nearly been there 2 years now he gets upset if he doesn’t go! X

  4. November 25, 2015 / 12:15 pm

    Ahh that is lovely and I agree you are damned if you do and damned if you don’t these days, us women can’t win whatever we do! I am heading back to work part time soon and I always suffer with the guilt of doing so but then I have my career and want my own money! Thanks so much for linking up to the #bestandworst hope to see you again 🙂 x

    • November 25, 2015 / 12:57 pm

      Yep whatever we do its wrong hahaha! I always tell myself I am me as well not just mum, I need to do things that make me happy so my LO is happy. I’ll be around again soon 🙂 X

  5. November 25, 2015 / 8:35 pm

    It is a shame that most mums get judged. I would never judge a Mum for being a stay at home mum and I would never judge a mum for working part or full time either. No one knows their situation so no one should judge. Great post. x

  6. December 1, 2015 / 3:40 pm

    Absolutely! I went straight back to uni after having SB – I was told I was abandoning my daughter at the same time as sponging off the state. I then went straight into full time work – I was called neglectful for not spending time with my daughter. I became a SAHM – I’m sponging off the state. Mums can’t win! Great post x #fartglitter

  7. December 1, 2015 / 5:41 pm

    Very true and very isolated and judge that being NHS SAHM you forget the small things. Thanks for sharing X #FartGlitter

  8. December 1, 2015 / 7:24 pm

    Someone will always pick holes in what you do. It’s such a shame, judgement and guilt trips from people who don’t know the full ins and outs of your situation is so frustrating.

  9. December 2, 2015 / 9:04 pm

    Love this! I always try to keep in mind that every family has a unique set of circumstances so it’s best to never judge, especially without knowing all the details. You have to do what’s best for your family, whatever that is. #fartglitter

  10. December 2, 2015 / 11:17 pm

    A great post! t’s tricky for everyone as I agree, it feels like everyone judges or has an opinion, even if they don’t really say it. Thanks for sharing on #theBabyFormula

  11. December 3, 2015 / 5:02 am

    🙂 Lets lift each other up instead of pulling each other down. You might want to check out #mommittment if you haven’t already. Thanks for linking up to #fartglitter

  12. December 5, 2015 / 7:54 am

    I totally agree with you! We are each just doing what works for us and we’re all doing the best that we can. Working mums / part time working mums / stay at home mums….We’re all working so much more than full time in our own way anyway. I salute you all!

    #justanotherlinky x

    • December 5, 2015 / 12:24 pm

      All options are tough! We all do what we have to even if we wish we could do something else! Some people can be so judgemental! X

  13. December 5, 2015 / 8:48 am

    Thanks for this 🙂 There is no one way to parent. We are all allowed to make our own rules and that’s great. I work part time which is perfect for me. #justanotherlinky

    • December 5, 2015 / 12:21 pm

      Exactly! We all do what’s best for our family. It might not be what we want to do but we do what we have to! X

  14. December 5, 2015 / 10:49 am

    This is one of those topics that winds me up every time! I am a stay at home mum and my little girl is 10 months old. I am constantly being asked when I am going back to work and why I’m not already back to work etc. a) it’s my own choice to make and b) we are not all sponging off anyone, we don’t claim a penny. I am lucky enough that my husbands wage allows me to have the choice to stay at home. But on the flip side, I don’t see why working mums should get put down either! You are out earning a living and supporting your family which is something to be applauded! I think it’s everyones own choice to make. Either way it doesn’t make any less of a mum! #justanotherlinky
    p.s/ sorry for the rant!

    • December 5, 2015 / 12:19 pm

      Absolutely! If you stay at home you get asked when you’re going back to work, if you work you get asked why you’re not stopping at home! You can’t win! We all do what’s best for our family & that’s all that should matter. 🙂 X

  15. December 5, 2015 / 1:49 pm

    Thank you for this! Us working moms know how hard it is to be away all day but also when both parents need to work we know we are providing a good life for our littles.

  16. December 5, 2015 / 3:13 pm

    I’m a full time working mum and my little boy loves nursery so much!! I am so glad I went back as I just cannot give him the stimulation he needs anymore on a daily basis. I think both working and SAHMs do an amazing job! #justanotherlinky

    • December 5, 2015 / 5:55 pm

      Agreed! We all do a wonderful job. We both work full time and our little man loves nursery to! He loves to see his friends. It nice to know even though I’m not having a great time looking at my excel spreadsheets he’s having a fab time playing hehehe! X

  17. December 5, 2015 / 3:35 pm

    Thanks for sharing. It is tricky to get the balance right. I work from home a few hours each day, so not the same as a full time working mum, but do feel that I miss out on all the ‘playing’ #justanotherlinky

    • December 5, 2015 / 5:57 pm

      It’s hard feeling that you’re missing out on them growing up but we are all doing the best we can for our little ones & they’ll always know that X

  18. debsrandomwritings
    December 5, 2015 / 7:45 pm

    It’s sad that we still live in a world where Mums feel the need to justify their actions. Being a Mun is never easy, so we don’t need the added pressure of feeling judged, when all we are trying to do is our best.

    I thought trying to reach out to all Mums in your post was lovely.


    • December 5, 2015 / 7:51 pm

      Thank you! There’s so much pressure around – stay at home, go to work, breastfeed, bottle fed etc etc & so much judging of each other’s decisions. All are the right decision for you and your baby & no-one should feel judged and inadequate for doing what’s best for their family x love to all mums our there! It’s a hard job x

    • December 11, 2015 / 2:30 pm

      Thanks – us Mums need to all stick together 🙂

  19. December 6, 2015 / 9:32 pm

    I am a working mum and do quite resent it but it is necessary – at the moment my partner stays at home but soon we will be getting into nursery, and then school, and my partner will return gratefully to a working life… but I can’t imagine how we will get around all the itty bits of extortionate wraparound childcare…. #fartglitter

  20. December 8, 2015 / 6:38 pm

    That’s such a good post and so accurate. I’m trying to decide what to do re returning to work and it feels as though you can’t do right for doing wrong and whatever you choose someone somewhere will judge for it. But it’s not about them it about yourself and what’s right for you and your family – we all do what’s best for us just need a little reminding every now and then. #abitofeverything

    • December 11, 2015 / 2:16 pm

      It’s so true, whatever you do some-one tells you you’re wrong! x

  21. traceyb1981
    December 8, 2015 / 6:56 pm

    Damned if you do damned if you don’t! Kind of how being a mum feels at times I think. Sometimes it’s nice to know you are not being judged #abitofeverything

  22. December 10, 2015 / 7:20 pm

    What a lovely post. It’s a shame mums gets judged on the decisions which they make. Thanks for linking up to #justanotherlinky xx

    • December 11, 2015 / 2:13 pm

      mum’s always feel guilty enough what ever we do – we don’t need to be judging each other and making it worse! 🙂 xx

  23. December 11, 2015 / 9:57 am

    Thank you for writing this. I work full time and have oversized Mummy Guilt and was having one of those moments when I read your post. I felt so much better after reading this. I couldn’t agree more with you but sometimes you need someone else to tell you it’s OK. Thanks for sharing with #abitofeverything

    • December 11, 2015 / 2:11 pm

      I know it’s hard working full-time, never feels like enough hours in the day! Glad I could help a bit 🙂 xxx

  24. nikkifrankhamilton
    December 11, 2015 / 9:49 pm

    This is so true, we need to support each other, no matter what. Being a parent is a hard thing. You always question what you do, and it’s even worse when others question or judge your decisions. We are all here, on Earth, to do the best we can, it’s far easier to do better when you aren’t being judged for every little thing! We all love our kids and know them best, so we do our best! And try to pass it on!

  25. December 12, 2015 / 8:01 am

    Thank you for this. Stay at home vs back to work is one of those tricky ones where, no matter which you do, someone will think it’s the wrong decision. I agree that it has to be what’s right for your family. X

  26. December 15, 2015 / 10:36 am

    There is no such thing as a easy option. You do the best for your family according to your circumstances. Lovely post 🙂

  27. August 4, 2016 / 10:38 pm

    This is so true, I can honestly say I don;t judge others especially not for whether they work or not, but I know a lot do and it’s sad really. I have pretty much always stayed at home with my boys, but mostly due to the cost of childcare meaning working wasn’t really an option financially as we would have been worse off!

    Thanks for linking up to #PicknMix 🙂

    Stevie x

  28. monikalifebreu
    November 20, 2016 / 12:33 am

    I do enjoy working but also have this mum guilt constantly when I see my SAHM friends as they get to spend so much more time with their kids. However, I know I am not made to be home 100% of the time so found somehow a compromise. Still some people looking from the outside give me a look when they find out I pay for two lots of nursery, which equates to a very generous mortgage payments. But without me working we would be living from hand to mouth. Also, my boys get stimulation they would not otherwise get when at home with me all the time and they get to develop their social skills without me constantly next to them.

  29. March 17, 2017 / 5:57 pm

    This is so accurate! I recently had to make this decision, and it’s good to know I am not the only one stressing about these things 🙂 How do you bring in more adult interaction without driving your husband insane?

  30. Ashley
    June 9, 2017 / 4:13 pm

    What a beautiful, amazing article. I wish you lived near by so we could hang out! If all articles written to mom’s were this positive and supportive there would exist much less mom guilt. Thank you.

  31. July 6, 2018 / 1:01 pm

    Your post is so true and the sad thing is it’s us women who tend to judge each other and not so much the men. We need to stop judging each other and start being more supportive.

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