6 Of The Best Tips To Get Over Working Mum Guilt
You’ve got to love a bit of ‘Working Mum Guilt’ ain’t you? Well OK maybe not so much – it does suck though – TOTALLY!
Truth be told at some point us working mums with suffer with the guilt of leaving our children in childcare whilst we plod off to work for another 8 hour shift. We will always (well sometimes!) miss our children whilst we are at work, of course we will we adore them and all their little craziness.
It doesn’t just stop there though does it?
It’s true that as a new mum you feel under a lot of pressure to have it all. The perfect house, figure, and baby etc. I’m sure many of you will agree this is totally unrealistic. My house isn’t arranged beautifully like a show-home. It does not have pristine white furniture and carpets, or vases full of flowers and delicate little crystal figurines on the fireplace. Far from it, my living room currently looks like I’ve started my own pre-school – toys toys and more toys.
Am I bothered by the mess? Honestly? Yes slightly, it does annoy me but I’ve had to lower my expectations of ‘tidy’ with a toddler running around! If someone wants to come in to my home and judge my parenting ability on fact that my front room looks like a soft play area inhabited by toddlers 24/7 then go ahead. The mess shows he’s having a great time, not that I can’t cope with cleaning, a full time job and a kid.
Once they go to school the mum guilt still drags on, with missed schools events, assemblies, award evenings and after school clubs.
There is little spare time to help the children with their homework and to prepare them a health evening meals before bed.
Don’t beat yourself up and drive yourself super nuts with Working Mum Guilt – you are doing an amazing job as a mother, the work/life balance is always tough so just go with it!
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1. You Are An Awesome Mum
It doesn’t matter if you’re a working mum or a stay at home mum – you are an awesome mum! Just because you go out to work it does not mean you are doing a worse job as a mother compared to mums who stay at home with their children. Remember what ever you do your child will still love you and think you are the best mum in the world.
2. You Are Doing A Great Job
Yes REALLY! I know everything probably isn’t always perfect and you don’t get as much housework done as you’d like. However, I promise you with regards to how you are looking after your little one you are doing a great job!
In years to come your little one won’t moan at you for having an ironing pile or 3, they will remember you doing the best you could for them. If there’s one thing children need more than anything it’s to be loved. By being a working mum this does not mean you don’t love them or love them less than a SAHM so give yourself a break!
3. Trade Offs Are Inevitable
Trade Offs Are Inevitable. At some point there will have to be a trade off with either your child or your work. There will be times you won’t be able to make it to an event such as an awards evening at the school because you will be busy at work – it’s not easy or practical to get time off from work for every one of the school events as there seems to be hundreds of the damn things!
It’s just how it is. It’s not ideal but it’s easier to accept it for what it is rather than worry yourself to death about it. The times you do make it to one of your children’s events will be extra special for you and them as you’ll both know and understand the trade-off you’ve had to make to be there.
4. Good Enough Is Perfect Enough
So you can’t be at every school event, or have the cleanliest house on the street or always manage to cook a freshly prepared meal. Does this really matter? Not at all. Why? Because nobody is perfect it’s impossible.
If you manage to attend some school events, occasionally show the house the duster or get that McDonald’s from the drive through to feed your kids – well done! I think you’re doing pretty amazing to pull all that off and a full time job! Remember Good Enough is Perfect Enough.
5. You Made The Right Choice For You And Your Family
Never doubt yourself – you made the right decision that’s best for you and your family by being a working mum. Every family and situation is different and no-one has the right to tell you your doing it wrong or judge you. You’re doing the best you can for your family’s needs.
6. It’s OK To Be A Working Mum And Enjoy It
Honestly it’s fine if you enjoy your job and being a working mum. There’s no shame in finding enjoyment in something other than motherhood! Also its definitely OK to enjoy the break away from your children!
So give up on the Working Mum Guilt, give yourself a break, stop worrying, and go enjoy your time with your children.
So I’ve rambled on about Working Mum Guilt. Whats my point? My point is, don’t feel guilty or worry about the things that don’t matter. Your little ones won’t hold it against you for a bit of a messy house or a mummy pouch. They won’t hold it against you if you’re a working mum or a stay-at-home mum.
They won’t hold any of it against you.Why? Because you are their mum, and the simple fact is they love you for being their mum.