6 Of The Best Tips To Get Over Working Mum Guilt

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6 Of The Best Tips To Get Over Working Mum Guilt

You’ve  got to love a bit of ‘Working Mum Guilt’ ain’t you? Well OK maybe not so much – it does suck though – TOTALLY!

Truth be told at some point us working mums with suffer with the guilt of leaving our children in childcare whilst we plod off to work for another 8 hour shift.

We will always (well sometimes!) miss our children whilst we are at work, of course we will we adore them and all their little craziness.

It doesn’t just stop there though does it?

It’s true that as a new mum you feel under a lot of pressure to have it all. The perfect house, figure, and baby etc. I’m sure many of you will agree this is totally unrealistic.

My house isn’t arranged beautifully like a show-home. It does not have pristine white furniture and carpets, or vases full of flowers and delicate little crystal figurines on the fireplace. Far from it, my living room currently looks like I’ve started my own pre-school – toys toys and more toys.

Am I bothered by the mess? Honestly? Yes slightly, it does annoy me but I’ve had to lower my expectations of ‘tidy’ with a toddler running around! If someone wants to come in to my home and judge my parenting ability on fact that my front room looks like a soft play area inhabited by toddlers 24/7 then go ahead.

The mess shows he’s having a great time, not that I can’t cope with cleaning, a full time job and a kid.

Once they go to school the mum guilt still drags on, with missed schools events, assemblies, award evenings and after school clubs.

There is little spare time to help the children with their homework and to prepare them a health evening meals before bed.

Don’t beat yourself up and drive yourself super nuts with Working Mum Guilt – you are doing an amazing job as a mother, the work/life balance is always tough so just go with it!

6 of the best tips to get over working mum guilt , working mom guilt, mom guilt , mothers guilt, new mum guilt

1. You Are An Awesome Mum

It doesn’t matter if you’re a working mum or a stay at home mum – you are an awesome mum! Just because you go out to work it does not mean you are doing a worse job as a mother compared to mums who stay at home with their children. Remember what ever you do your child will still love you and think you are the best mum in the world. 

2. You Are Doing A Great Job

Yes REALLY! I know everything probably isn’t always perfect and you don’t get as much housework done as you’d like. However, I promise you with regards to how you are looking after your little one you are doing a great job!

In years to come your little one won’t moan at you for having an ironing pile or 3, they will remember you doing the best you could for them. If there’s one thing children need more than anything it’s to be loved. By being a working mum this does not mean you don’t love them or love them less than a SAHM so give yourself a break!

3. Trade Offs Are Inevitable

Trade Offs Are Inevitable. At some point there will have to be a trade off with either your child or your work. There will be times you won’t be able to make it to an event such as an awards evening at the school because you will be busy at work – it’s not easy or practical to get time off from work for every one of the school events as there seems to be hundreds of the damn things!

It’s just how it is. It’s not ideal but it’s easier to accept it for what it is rather than worry yourself to death about it. The times you do make it to one of your children’s events will be extra special for you and them as you’ll both know and understand the trade-off you’ve had to make to be there.

4. Good Enough Is Perfect Enough

So you can’t be at every school event, or have the cleanliest house on the street or always manage to cook a freshly prepared meal. Does this really matter? Not at all. Why? Because nobody is perfect it’s impossible.

If you manage to attend some school events, occasionally show the house the duster or get that McDonald’s from the drive through to feed your kids – well done! I think you’re doing pretty amazing to pull all that off and a full time job! Remember Good Enough is Perfect Enough.

5. You Made The Right Choice For You And Your Family

Never doubt yourself – you made the right decision that’s best for you and your family by being a working mum. Every family and situation is different and no-one has the right to tell you your doing it wrong or judge you. You’re doing the best you can for your family’s needs.

6. It’s OK To Be A Working Mum And Enjoy It

Honestly it’s fine if you enjoy your job and being a working mum. There’s no shame in finding enjoyment in something other than motherhood! Also its definitely OK to enjoy the break away from your children!

So give up on the Working Mum Guilt, give yourself a break, stop worrying, and go enjoy your time with your children.

So I’ve rambled on about Working Mum Guilt. Whats my point? My point is, don’t feel guilty or worry about the things that don’t matter. Your little ones won’t hold it against you for a bit of a messy house or a mummy pouch. They won’t hold it against you if you’re a working mum or a stay-at-home mum.

They won’t hold any of it against you.Why? Because you are their mum, and the simple fact is they love you for being their mum.

Mummy It’s OK – You’re Doing Great!

Hi! I’m Julie. I write about all things related to mum life. I’m also a postpartum depression survivor. I love helping mum start their mum blog journey and I have step-by-step guides to help!

***the links in this article may be affiliate links. If you purchase something I will receive a small commission from the seller at no extra cost to you***

18 Comments

  1. February 8, 2017 / 2:58 am

    This is so true and really difficult to remember when you feel torn in two places #mumguilt mumguilt.com

  2. February 10, 2017 / 9:40 am

    I’ve worked the whole time with both of my boys and I think I had peaks when I used to feel guilty which was before they were at school. Then I realised that this was just the way that it was and the decision I had made. A happy mummy is a happy family and we all go forward with that philosophy in our house as we all now benefit and have a lovely relationship. I haven’t missed out on anything, I still made those important moment…if only just!:)

    Mainy

    #KCACOLS

  3. February 14, 2017 / 1:57 pm

    I agree whole-heartedly. I only work 2 days and week and go to college 1 day a week, but I still have to miss school trips or assemblies and get the guilt from the kids about it.
    Last week there was an exhibition of they work from “Science Week” and I had to send my Mum instead of going myself…guilt guilt guilt!
    #KCACOLS

  4. February 14, 2017 / 8:56 pm

    My baby is 11months and a lot of my friends are just returning to work now. Mum guilt is a biggie. Thanks for linking up to #KCACOLS

  5. February 18, 2017 / 6:23 am

    Thanks so much for sharing your experiences and perspective. #KCACOLS

  6. February 19, 2017 / 6:41 pm

    I love the saying, “good enough is perfect enough.” I feel like this is something that all women in all walks of life need to be reminded of.

    • February 21, 2017 / 2:55 pm

      aww thank you so much! I try to remind myself of it daily 🙂

  7. March 31, 2017 / 7:41 am

    Absolutely! No matter what you choose to do, it’s the right decision for you and your family. There is no need to feel guilty!

  8. April 25, 2017 / 11:29 am

    Really amazing article! I almost started crying!! I CONSTANTLY have mom guilt. I always feel like I’m falling short on something. Thank you for making me feel better, and not so alone.

  9. September 15, 2017 / 7:39 pm

    Working moms will always feel guilt at one time or another. We just have to remember why we are working and remember the positive impact it has on our families.

    • September 15, 2017 / 7:57 pm

      So true it’s easy to forget the positive impact it has on our families & just get stuck focusing on the guilt x

  10. September 16, 2017 / 12:58 am

    I think this post will help lots of moms feel better about having to work.

  11. April 4, 2018 / 3:11 am

    Hello!

    I love your blog and what you’re all about!

    This post was timely for me. As a stay-at-home (trying to be work-at-home) mom, every now and then the thought enters my head “I wonder if I should go back to work.” I miss it in a way. A 9-5, steady income. It’s hard to make ends meet and feel the constant weight of trying to make money at home. But, I am thankful that I can be home with my kids and try to work between feedings and playing dollhouse with my toddler. It is beautiful. I feel mom guilt for missing work, but your post helped me put things in perspective.

    I’m pinning this now 🙂
    Brooke

  12. How to feel sexy in big knickers
    April 4, 2018 / 12:11 pm

    I really struggled being a working mum with baby 1 as I worked in the city and did long hours. With baby 2 I worked locally but still full time. I don’t feel as guilty now but even so with current baby I’m determined not to work and have been building my business around his naps! It’s tough but will be worth it. #READYSETLINK

  13. April 4, 2018 / 4:10 pm

    This is really hard, we all have mum guilt for something! I became a SAHM when Freddie was 18 months old, but now although I am at home, I work as a full time blogger! So I regularly use the IPAD nanny. #badmum! #READYSETLINK

  14. April 4, 2018 / 7:23 pm

    I needed to read this today, I have been feeling lousy as a parent with a disability, I doubt everything and just never feel good enough X #readysetlink

  15. April 5, 2018 / 12:43 pm

    I really struggled with this when I went back to work. I am now a SAHM and feel guilty about other stuff instead. There is no perfect solution we all do the best we can. Great post with really good points #readysetlink

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