Life According To A Toddler – Funny Toddler Quotes
I may have about 30 years more life experience than a toddler, but apparently I’ve been doing it wrong for all these years. Who Knew?! This is Life According To A Toddler..
Life According To A Toddler – When Something Is Broken
When things are going wrong and they just won’t work why no take a leaf out of the toddler book of ‘How To Fix It’.
Toddler : Mummy… if it doesn’t work KICK IT!!
Toddler : Mummy my toy is broken ..buy me a new one
Life According To A Toddler – When You Feel Unwell
When your feeling poorly and you need something to make you feel better those toddlers know the best cure. They do tend to suffer from a lot of ailments especially around bedtime…sometimes they are a bit over dramatic with it all to.
Toddler : Mummy I need some chocolate because my tummy hurts
Little Man : Mummy I can’t walk my arm hurts
Toddler : Mummy I can’t walk my shoulder hurts
Little Man : Mummy I can’t go to sleep my cheek hurts
Toddler: Mummy I can’t go to sleep my toe hurts
Little Man : Mummy I can’t go to sleep my hair hurts
Toddler : Mummy I’ve got a cough .. I’m dead
Life According To A Toddler – When Someone Is Annoying You
When your on the toy telephone and it asks you ‘Hello, How are you today?’ but you’ve already explained the situation once, was she not listening the first time? – I’m thinking maybe this is my new way to deal with those cold callers or other annoying phone calls – toddler style!
Toddler : Look Lady! I’ve told you already!
Life According To A Toddler – Toddlers and Pets
Household pets and toddlers don’t always mix well, all this time I’ve been worrying about the cat but really I should have been looking out for that dinosaur. You have to watch out for those naughty dinosaurs in your house, especially seen as they have a sweet tooth and will be after your cake.
Toddler : Mummy… smack that dinosaur in there! (points towards the dining room)
Toddler: Mummy…shoot the dinosaur! Close that door! Shut him in!
Toddler : Mummy…the dinosaur’s eating my cake!
Toddler : No Dinosaur – you’re naughty – I smack you!
Life According To A Toddler – Fashion and Looking Good
When you’ve spent years and a small fortune going to the salon to achieve the perfect mum hair-style, little did I know I’ve been doing it oh so very wrong. Crocodiles – the new way to achieve that new hair cut you’ve been waiting for.
Toddler : Mummy! There’s a crocodile in your hair! SNAP SNAP!!
When you come downstairs wearing your new and expensive checked shirt from Next, you’re super pleased as you’re looking pretty trendy for a mum that has little time to make an effort – yeah i rock this shirt … may be not.. oh well I tried.
Toddler : Mummy?
Toddler : *looks all confused at me in my new shirt*
Toddler : Are you a Cowboy?
Life According To A Toddler – Christmas
Father Christmas is amazing – he’ll bring you want ever you’d like, even a colour, well as long as your good. This is going to be a tough one to achieve even for Father Christmas I think…
Me: What would you like Father Christmas to bring you?
Me: A yellow what?
Toddler: Just Yellow!
Life According To A Toddler – Future Jobs
We all have dreams and ambitions as a kid and at some point in our lives we’ve all entertained the idea of being an astronaut and going into space, although I think a rocket may be a tad heavy and expensive to pull off even for NASA.
Toddler : Daddy let’s build a rocket
OK, What do we need to build a rocket?
Toddler : Gold..
Mummy It’s OK – You’re Doing Great!