How To Make Mom Friends and Find Your Tribe

Making friends as a new mom can seem daunting at first, but there are ways to find a potential mom friend with similar interests. Find out the importance of making mom friends and how you can find your tribe.

There is nothing quite like the chapter that is motherhood. Before you become a parent, you often envisage what your life will look like, and it is different to us all. You might imagine yourself to be a parent who won’t allow their child to watch TV or embrace screen time.

Maybe they will eat perfectly balanced meals. It might be you think you may be a mother that embraces more natural approaches to things, such as cloth nappies or breastfeeding. Others may know their choices might be different. None of us will truly know what it will be like, or indeed how we will be or react to parenthood until we start that chapter. 

Parenting is difficult. Being a mom is hard work. It doesn’t matter whether you work and your child goes to a childminder or nursery, or whether you stay at home with them every day, it is tough. Both physically, but also mentally. This is the area of our lives where we perhaps pay very little attention to.

Physically, we know that we can eat better, take supplements and exercise, and notice some improvements and changes over time. Your mental health takes a little more work, and there often isn’t a quick fix.

However, there is one thing that can help you mentally on your path of motherhood, and that is having mom, friends and finding your tribe. These are people who understand, live the life you live, and can be that confidant or shoulder to cry on. Not having anyone who can share this with you can lead you to feel isolated and alone, even when you have your partner and your family around you.

Sometimes we don’t see the value or importance of having mom friends, but they can have a huge positive impact on our lives. I wanted to share with you some of the reasons why having mom friends is important and how you can find your tribe. 

Why Is It Important To Have Mom Friends?

The first thing you need to understand is why it is important to have mom friends. Surely if you have a supportive partner, family you can rely on, that’s all you need, right?

While that is perfectly fine, mom friends can offer a different level of support that sometimes family or your partner won’t be able to give.

Your partner may be out at work all day and perhaps not fully understand how it feels to be at home all day with your child or children.

Family is great, but often you may not get the right sort of advice that you seek from older relatives because times have changed. Here are some of the other reasons why mom friends are important. 

Social Interaction

Making new mom friends is a fantastic way to enhance the social interaction that often dwindles during the initial stages of motherhood. Even when the idea of venturing out seems daunting, an invitation from your best friend for a coffee shop catch-up or a happy hour hangout can be just the nudge you need to step out of your comfort zone and enjoy some much-needed adult conversation.

This expanded social circle isn’t just about small talk or sharing parenting woes; it’s about creating a support group with whom you can share real life experiences, seek expert advice, or just unwind after a long day. Whether it’s reminiscing about your high school days, discussing the latest book you’ve picked up from the local library, or coordinating playdates for older kids at the nearest children’s museum, these interactions with close friends and fellow moms provide a rich tapestry of social engagement.

And remember, every social outing doesn’t have to include the little ones. Sometimes, leaving the kids at home with a good partner or trusted care can provide a breather, allowing you to recharge and return as an even more amazing mom. It’s all about finding balance, nurturing your physical health and mental wellbeing, and spending time with true friends who understand the journey you’re on.

By expanding your mom groups, you open up opportunities to meet moms from different walks of life – working moms, home moms, and those new to town, all navigating the beautiful chaos of parenting. These new connections can lead to long-term friendships, providing a network of mutual friends, communal learning at library story times, and shared experiences at school activities or local hot spots. So take that first step, exchange phone numbers, and dive into the rich community of parents around you. Your social life, as well as your role as a parent, will be all the richer for it.

Somebody To Open Up To Who Will Understand 

Having mom friends means that you have somebody on the end of the phone that you can call or text who would understand. They can offer help, advice, support, or just be there to listen. In many cases, it can be at all times of the day or night. They will always come back to you and offer their help.

Family and partners might not truly understand how you feel because they haven’t lived a day in your shoes, just like it will be difficult to understand how your partner feels, etc. However, mom friends know because your reality will be their reality. It might be a little different, but they get it. 

Share Your Worries And Anxieties 

You often will have worries and anxieties when you become a mum. You might question everything that you do or how you react to things. It is completely normal.

But if you don’t share those worries or anxieties, they can eat away at you, and having friends with who you can discuss these things can help to ease your mind. 

Have Something In Common 

It is also good to have people around you that you have things in common with. Even if that is staying at home with your children all day, or having children of a similar age.

It can help you to feel less isolated and alone and more comfortable with this new chapter. Because we all know how life-changing, it can be. 

What Having Mom Friends Can Do For You?

Knowing the reasons why having mom friends can help you to see the value in those relationships, but you might be wondering what having mum friends can do for you?

Being a mother, albeit thousands, become one every day in the world, can often leave you feeling like you are the only one to experience this.

The only one waking up at 2AM for a night feed, or feeling so drained and exhausted that you put your keys in the fridge and try to make a cup of tea with the iron. We have all been there. Here are a few ways that having mum friends can help you. 

Reassurance

Sometimes all you need is a little reassurance. You want to know that you have done the right thing and that how you feel is normal. I appreciate that you can get reassurance from family or your partner, but reassurance from someone who understands how you feel, where you are coming from, or perhaps has experienced what you are describing, will just give you so much more confidence.

Knowing that things are normal, that it passes, that what you feel is a medical emergency is just your anxiety is priceless. 

To Help You Feel Less Alone 

Motherhood can be one of the loneliest times in your life. It is hard to imagine that, but it is true. Yes, you have your children with you, yes you might have a supportive partner or family you can call upon, but you can often still have that niggling feeling of isolation and feeling alone.

Having a network of friends around you can elevate you away from that feeling. They know how you feel, what to do, and how best to reassure you because they may have been through it themselves.

Plus, it is also good to feel valued when someone turns to you for advice and you can give back that reassurance and advice. 

To Advise And Be There When You Need It The Most 

Mom friends can offer advice and help when you need it the most. Knowing you have people to ask around, call or text is so reassuring. In those situations where you need help, it can be very calming to know that you have people there who understand and can help. 

To Discuss Parenting Styles

It’s all well and good having a partner who will support you, but it can be empowering to discuss your parenting decisions with other mothers. You may feel like they understand where you are coming from because not only do they have children themselves, but they also experienced the same problems as you.

So, mom friends can offer that little bit of extra support that you might need to get through your day.

To Discuss Work/Life Balance Issues

During maternity leave you may find it isolating with you and the baby home all day. Having some good friends to talk to can help with this. 

Being a working mom for the first time can be hard. Meeting other working moms is a great way to share information on how to mange your work/life balance. 

Having a friend group who are going through the new role of being a working mom can give you a great sense of support and offer valuable advice.

How To Find Your Mom Tribe?

So now that you know the importance of like-minded moms and what they can do for you, you may be wondering how you find your tribe? This can often be the hardest part.

Establishing new mom friendship can often be tricky for some people. If you don’t feel at your best or at your most confident, it can stop you in your tracks.

However, there are so many ways that you can make mom friends and establish your own tribe. Here are a few suggestions. 

Heading To Baby Groups Or Classes

One of the most common ways to find potential friends is to head to baby groups and music classes. A quick search online or using social media platforms like Facebook should help you to identify groups and classes that are going on in your area.

Some are structured classes that will require you to make a payment. Others may be free church groups or organised gatherings at local schools. Heading to these places means you are going to be surrounded by moms who have children of a similar age. 

Out And About 

Consider heading to your local parks or soft play centres. These are areas which attract mums and their young children and can be a more casual way of making some awesome friends by starting up a conversation. 

Nursery 

If you have gone back to work, you can still make some friendships and you might still want to have those in your life. Your child might attend nursery or a childminder, so making friends with moms who have children in the same class can be a great way to do it. Nursery is a great place for your baby to socialise too.

Already Have Children? 

Some of us don’t realise the value of having mom friends until a second or third child. It can be all-consuming when it is your first baby. So if you already have children, then this can be another way to start making some friendships. Your child might be at school or do clubs, and there will be some great opportunities to make some quality connections. 

Family Who Have Children Of A Similar Age

Finally, although family might not understand, those who have had children at a similar time to yourself will. So this is a great way to establish a different relationship with them with the common ground of having children. 

Story Times

Going to story times is a great way for both children and moms. It’s a chance to meet other parents in the local area, but also gives you an opportunity to socialise your child.

If you are looking at going back to work, then this can be key too because it will give them the skills they need when attending nursery or childminder. In addition, it can also help them to socialise with other children and establish friendships before they start school or nursery.

Birthday Parties

If you have a child who is going to be attending their first birthday party, then the invitation list will often include friends of your child. You can use this as an opportunity to meet these parents and establish some friendships in return.

It’s also a great way for them to learn about socialising with others outside of school or daycare, and it can often be a great icebreaker for meeting other parents.

Baby Yoga Classes

Another great way to meet mommy friends is by heading along to baby yoga classes. You can try this at a local studio or even head online and find some videos that you could follow in your own home class.

Building and Sustaining Your Mom Tribe

Once you’ve started making connections, it’s about nurturing these new relationships into true friendships.

• Initiate and Participate: Don’t hesitate to make the first move by inviting a mom for coffee or organizing a group playdate. Be proactive in creating and participating in events.
• Regular Meetups: Consistency is key. Arrange regular meetups, whether they’re at a community center, someone’s home, or a local park.
• Open Communication: Share and exchange contact information. Start a group chat for easy communication and to plan spontaneous gatherings.

Overcoming Challenges and Embracing New Friendships

• Fear of Rejection: It’s normal to feel apprehensive about reaching out to new people. Remember, most moms are looking for connections just like you. Every mom has been the new mom at some point.
• Finding Time: As a busy parent, finding time for social interactions can be tough. Look for groups or friends who understand the balance between parenting and personal time.
• Diverse Groups: Don’t limit yourself to one type of group or friend. Different groups and friends can offer varied experiences and advice.

In Conclusion

Finding your mom tribe is about putting yourself out there, taking the first step, and embracing the journey of motherhood with others. It’s not always an easy task, but the reward of having a supportive, fun, and understanding group of friends is priceless. So next time you’re at a story time, park, or even just browsing your local Facebook groups, remember that every conversation is a potential gateway to a new, amazing friendship. Happy mom friending!