What Are The Qualities Of A Good Mother?
A good mother, the perfect mum, how to be a good mum. If you’ve googled one of these phrases or similar you’re not alone (guilty!).
At some point we all wonder if we have the qualities of a good parent. It’s totally normal to worry about this sort of thing.
True be told though – yes you are a good mother even if you don’t always realise it.
During my pregnancy (and after) I read a lot about how to be a good mum.
However, as time has progressed and I’ve been at this mothering game a bit longer, I’ve come to realise something.
You can not learn how to be a good mum just from reading a book.
You have to take the time to learn how to master the qualities of a good mother.
Then you have to practice it. It takes a lot of time and patience.
Then I promise you at some point you’ll stuff it up because lets fact facts we are all human and make mistakes.
Plus those kids sure know how to press our buttons and makes us go from a good mum to a crazy mum in 3 seconds flat!
The Top Qualities Of A Good Mum
1 – Be A Good Role Model
You are the first person your child ever knows. They’ve been with you right from when their little life was created.
As such, you are the first role model they have ever know. It’s important to be a good role model for your children.
Kids copy and learn everything from their parents as they are growing up.
If you want the to say please and thank you, tidy up after themselves, or help others – then you need to do these things to.
Show them how they should behave, be the role model your children need you to be.
You can’t expect your child to do this things if you aren’t willing to them yourself.
2 – Set Boundaries And Rules
Children need boundaries to thrive. They need to know what they can and can’t do and when.
This is why it’s important to set clear boundaries so that they know what to expect.
You should always be consistent with these rules to.
It’s no good changing them all the time, your child will become confused as to what is expected of them.
The same is also true for when you have to discipline them.
The punishments need to be consistent, its no good one time not disciplining them for breaking a rule and the next time not.
You will be sending them mixed messages.
The punishment should fit the crime. Don’t give out a big punishment for a simple breaking of the rules – keep those for when they proper step out of line.
3 – Be Respectful
Respect is two sided. If you want your child to show you respect you also need to show and give them respect in return.
It doesn’t matter that they are much younger than you, or that you’re the adult. Respect should always be given. Remember what I said about being a good role model earlier?
Kids need to learn how to show and how to give respect.
4 – Be Supportive And Loving
It can be tough growing up. You will need to show support for your little one.
It could be they are still learning to potty train, they may be older and have a falling out with a friend.
Whatever the circumstance, they need you, even if they don’t know it.
Knowing you have the support and love of your parents should be something every child can always rely on.
They need out help and guidance through out their lives, and as parents we should give it – no questions asked.
Right from being a baby all the way to be being grown up we all need support and love.
I still need support from my parents even though I’m fully grown as and adult with my own family!
5 – Be Patient
Learning to be patient with your child can take time. They are always testing the rules and boundaries you have set. Seeing what they can and can’t get away with.
It can take them a while to understand and perfect what they should be doing.
Even something as simple as feeding themselves with a spoon can drive you to the edge of despair when it goes all over the floor again.
However, its important to be patient with them, we all learn in our time and getting angry with them isn’t going to help their self confidence.
I’m not going to lie this is the one I find the hardest, patience is a lost art form on me!
6 – Forgiveness
Your children will make mistakes. You need to forgive them when they do go wrong. They are still learning.
After they have been disciplined, forgiveness should be offered with a few hugs and kisses for little ones.
Forgiveness works both ways, you to will make mistakes as a mum.
Don’t be afraid to ask for your child’s forgiveness if you are the one in the wrong – this teaches them a valuable life lesson.
That no-one is perfect, it’s OK to make mistakes, and that people should be forgiven as it’s not healthy to hold on to the negativity.
What Are The Characteristics Of A Good Mother
I’ve been thinking long and hard about what qualities make a good mum.
However, in the end I’ve decided this is too big a question for one mum/me to answer.
There are so may different outlooks on being a mum. So I wanted to get a variety of responses from lots of different mums.
So I have asked some of my great blogging mummy friends what they thought too.
I Am River – I think the most important quality a mum can have is just believing in your children no matter what. I have two son’s, the youngest has Down Syndrome but I genuinely believe they will both achieve great things. Support and belief, the material stuff is just decoration.
My Boys Club – Always trying your best as a parent – no one can be the best at everything – and not only doing it yourself but also helping your children understand that.
Family Travel With Ellie – A good mum is one who’s children can go to them at anytime and talk to them about anything with no fear of being judged. They know you will love and help them whatever life throws at them.
The Money Whisperer – Listening is high up there. By always listening to a little person, we encourage them to talk to us whether it’s something good or bad, and we give them the skills to be a good listener themselves.
Mummy Cat Notes – One quality I feel that is important is trusting and believing your children, they need to know that while you can be tough, you have their side with everything, my son recently dealt with a bully at school (who pointed the blame at my son and his friend) and it took a while for him to actually open up and tell me and I made it clear to him that he can trust me and that I was there for him and more importantly that I understand.
Emma Reed – To be able to be there for your child no matter what and to provide them with a loving environment to grow up in.
Hello Little Lovely – Unconditional love and forgiveness. I think you need to give children a lot of grace in order for them to understand how to extend it to others.
Five Little Doves – Honesty. I am very honest with my children about the mistakes I have made, but I explain to them the reasons I made them and the regrets I have, I hope it prevents them from making the same mistakes as they grow.
Lylia Rose – Having oodles of patience definitely helps!
Mighty Mama Bear – Instilling the belief in children that they can achieve anything if they put their mind to it and encouraging them to dream. I think it’s so important that they have that self belief in a world of doubters and nay-sayers.
Carter Family 4 – Teaching my Son to have respect and be kind is one of the most important things I think.
Glasgow With Kids – There are so many things that can make you a good mum and everyone is different, so will have different strengths. For me, having a good sense of humour has been so important. I’ve found that to be my biggest strength in some situations, especially having 2 young children. I hate when I turn into ‘angry mum’ (which does still happen) but being able to see the funny side of things helps me to maintain my sanity and my patience when things go awry.
Thrifty Mum – Clean bum, full tum. Anything else is a bonus! Even on those days where you all just have to settle for “survival mode”-you’re still a good Mum.
Pink Pear Bear – Good cuddling skills. Cuddles are free and can be doled out anywhere. Taking the time to sit and watch TV with the kids and just cuddle them is a wonderful thing.
Crummy Mummy – Saying sorry when you’re in the wrong. I think that’s really important – after all we’re all human…
Plutonium Sox – Thick skin! Whatever you do, someone will be there to tell you that you’re getting it wrong. You’re not getting it wrong, you know your children and the values that matter to you. Ignore the critics because to your children, you’re the best mum in the world.
And Another 10 Things – Being able to say sorry to them when you’ve done something wrong. It’s important to show them that no one is above making mistakes or apologising for them.
Nellie Pom Poms – I’ve got 3 children. Girls. 19, 16 and 13. Each one is different and they are treated differently. Don’t compare, don’t take the first story as the truth and above all they’re not your best friends, they’re your children.
Virtually All Sorts – Listening, loving and patience! Maybe even in that order! Nothing means more to your child than stopping what you’re doing and just listening; loving goes without saying and a whopping dose of patience is essential!
Our Altered Life – As well as all of the above I’d say it’s important to have a good sense of humour. To model when to laugh at yourself and to keep things in perspective. Not everything that is a drama now, is still a drama tomorrow. Always try to find the humour where you can.
Blissful Domestication – So many qualities as already said above! For me being a good mum is having time to put my kids requests to ‘my play Lego’ or ‘pretend to be a fairy’ at the top of my priority list, and become part of their imaginative play.
Are Pops – Good mums are those with best intentions.
Kelly Allen Writer – Good mothers are kind. Simple. I have been through a harsh stage, a shouty stage, a strict stage, and none of them worked or made me or the kids feel good. Kindness however, costs nothing and makes everyone feel oh so good. Even on awful days, being kind fixes everything. That sounds pretty good to me.
Kate On Thin Ice – I consider myself good enough despite being rubbish in so many areas for instilling great and caring values into my 3 children and for keeping them safe from harm.
My Parenting Journey – I think one thing that I learned from my mom, which I am now applying to my child is giving unconditional love (I know, what a cliche right?) No matter what I did, my mother supported and loved me. She never gave up on me. Even when I was at my worst, she never left me. I may hear a few nags from her but in the end she still helps me get through. I took all her love for granted but in the end, the reason I turned my life around was because of her love.
All of the above I’m sure you’ll agree are great things to include in a list of ‘qualities of a good mother’.
What about you, what do you think? What traits do you think moms should have?
I’d love for you to comment below with what you think are the qualities of a good mother. I look forward to reading them!
Mummy It’s OK – You’re Doing Great!