Mum-Day Blues : The Loneliness Of Maternity Leave

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Mum-Day Blues : The Loneliness Of Maternity Leave

Maternity leave can be a lonely for many woman. It is not usual for new mums to be feeling depressed on maternity leave. Here is a list of some of the things that can cause you to be depressed on maternity leave along with the steps you can take to help improve your situation.

Also please do continue reading to the bottom for a real life mums story of her mum-days blues she felt whilst on maternity leave.

1 – Loneliness

New mums often feel lonely whilst on maternity leave from work. You’re used to being at work surround by plenty of people to chat and listen to. Suddenly your at home all by yourself with a baby and everything is very silent. Having no-one to talk to all day is a real killer. Yes, you can (and should) talk to your baby, but its just not the same as having a proper chat with someone.

One step you could take to improve this is to attend some mother and baby groups. If you take a look on Facebook you should be able to find somethings near you. For example near me the local soft play does weekly mother and baby sessions where you can pop along and also grab yourself a cake a coffee.

Don’t underestimate how great it can be to your mental health to have some adult interactions, especially with other mums who are in the same situation as you.

2 – Boredom

Yes with a new baby to look after its totally possible to be bored. Many find the daily routine boring and this can lead to you feeling depressed maternity leave. When you are at home with your baby in can easily feel like you are stuck in groundhog day. It becomes an endless cycle of timed feeds, burping and nappy changes. Everyday feels the same and often you can lose track of what day it is.

One step you could take to help with this is once daily try to do just a little bit of something YOU enjoy doing. This could be reading a book for 30 minutes, playing a new playlist on Spotify or writing that quick blog you’ve been thinking about. Whatever it is you do, just try to break up the days so they are slightly different from one another.

Real Life Story From A Mum Suffering Loneliness On Maternity Leave

Weekends while you’re on maternity leave are different. There’s no Friday feeling. Being a Mummy doesn’t end at 5pm (okay, 4:30pm) on a Friday and start again at 8am on Monday. I’d take smelling of baby sick over being stuck on the M25 for 3 hours any day though.

Weekends are different. Weekends are even more precious as it’s time that we get to spend as a family, time that Scott gets to see Harry coo and chat rather than his grouchy time in the evening.

It’s time I can shower for as long as I like and even condition my hair. Weekends mean saying “oh you think, time for Daddy to change that bum”. Weekends mean company. Help. Someone to talk to. Someone to make me tea, someone to make tea for. For two whole days. No need to look up whether any baby groups are on.

There’s no need to decide whether it’s just too much hard work to leave the house for milk. No need to choose between hovering and eating lunch. For two whole days.

Before Harry, a crappy weekend wasn’t that much of big deal; there was Pinot Grigio to take the edge off, as much chocolate as I knew I could burn off at the ice rink the next day and people to rant to on Monday morning.

A crappy weekend was followed by a company filled Monday and a Monday evening to do whatever Scott and I needed to get over or make up for a crappy weekend.

A crappy weekend while on maternity leave is nothing short of devastating. You spend all week looking forward to your partner being there on Saturday morning to enjoy the morning story and to do the ‘roar’ in row row your boat.

You look forward to your step feeling a little lighter, the bags under your eyes looking a little brighter and to hearing the two most precious people in your life giggle and adore each other while you have a wee without the baby monitor on.

Crappy weekend is then followed by Monday morning; but unlike before there’s no conversation with your work bestie to share stories. There’s no coffee ready and waiting for you just the way you like it, no-one asks you how your weekend was, no one listens to your woes and tries to make you feel better with their own dramas.

No one agrees that you have the [insert family member/friend/other] from hell. There’s no-one. There’s just you and your baby. As gorgeous and wonderful and fascinating as Harry is, he doesn’t say much and he doesn’t make coffee yet.

Mum-day blues are lonely. They make a bad weekend even worse. You run the weekend on repeat over and over and you look into the week ahead and feel lonely. Maybe you could go to a baby group but today you want to talk to people who know who the characters in your life are, you need people to know why a particular incident is a big deal to you.

You need someone who knows to buy you an almond croissant just from the way you answer the phone on the way into the office. Mum-day blues are not the time for answering questions about Harry’s age, weight and that inane “is he good” question.

Mum-day blues are hard. I’ve not yet figured out an answer to them but I have a feeling I’ll have my fair share of them over the next 9 months. And then I’ll be back at work and Mum-day blues will mean missing my world. Until then, there’s a cold cup of tea and half eaten mince pie waiting for me.

Maternity leave is lonely. They make a bad weekend even worse. You run the weekend on repeat over and over and you look into the week ahead and feel lonely.

Mum-Day Blues - The Loneliness Of Maternity Leave

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Sophie Haylock

Sophie is from the blog Just Another Mummy Blog. She loves to write about all topics related to motherhood.

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  1. December 13, 2016 / 6:34 pm

    This is the one downside I find as a SAHM. People don’t understand how I can look forward to the weekend when ‘every day is like a weekend’. (Really,it isn’t) like you say, I look forward to adult company, being able to take a small chunk of my mind and doing something not child related with it, going on a day trip. Alas I also find every Monday is full of mumday blues.

    • Sophie (justanothermummyblog
      December 14, 2016 / 8:47 am

      Ha! Every day like a weekend! If only! I find it’s so important to my own wellbeing to do something non baby related and use my brain. I come back from it (even if only for 10 minutes) so full of energy and enthusiastic I’m a far better mummy. I’m trying to get back into my love of reading to help ☺️

  2. December 13, 2016 / 10:28 pm

    This is such a moving post. Channel 4 recently did a series on this I believe. I saw a clip of it shared by Mumsnet on Facebook and thought it was such a great topic that needs to be shouted about loud from the rooftops; if only to make women aware that they are not the only ones! You are never alone and there are so many mums out there feeling the loneliness. <3

    • Sophie justanothermummyblog
      December 14, 2016 / 8:50 am

      Thank you so much for your comments. The power of social media is amazing and it’s so reassuring to know you’re not the only one and not doing something wrong. Before baby you get warned about all the physical stuff and the amount of poo you’ll deal with but no one tells you how lonely it can be ☺️

      • December 20, 2016 / 5:01 pm

        No they do not! It is seemingly a thing that health visitors and midwives seem to airbrush over? Deftly needs to be a focal point of helming new mothers deal with the compete shift in their lives! <3

  3. twotinyhands
    December 13, 2016 / 11:17 pm

    Monday’s are rough for me too. It’s the only day there are no baby groups to go too as well… I make sure I get out for a walk or visit the farm, anything that’s different each Week. Once I’m over Monday things get busier!!

  4. Sophie justanothermummyblog
    December 14, 2016 / 8:53 am

    Going for a walk is such a simple but good idea and I really must get better and more disciplined at doing this. Some days it’s just too hard to make the effort but I know I’ll always feel better for it. I am trying to walk for things like milk rather than getting in the car or asking my partner to pick it up on the way home. Thank you for your comment you’ve reminded me how important a walk is ☺️

  5. Stephanie
    December 18, 2016 / 2:45 am

    It’s as though I could’ve written this myself. Thank you for making me feel less alone! X

  6. January 14, 2018 / 12:40 pm

    Awesome post ever! Definitely some great tips and advice to keep in mind to every moms when going through this experience. you have raised some interesting points here and those are very little known to most of us. thanks for sharing this informative article.

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